“What are my rights and responsibilities?”
That’s what young people ask me about when it comes to marriage. That’s their main concern.
But a good marriage is not based around rights and responsibilities.
Instead:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” [30:21]
He did not say rights and responsibilities.
He said: tranquility, affection, and mercy.
That’s what a good marriage is built upon.
That is a sign of Allah.
What do you think? Share your reflections below!
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Someone just shared this article with me and it’s so refreshing.
Tears…
Ameen. This is so affirming. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one out here having emotions and feelings towards other human beings. Old-school Islam will have a person thinking everything in life is ‘contractual’. I am a sentient being, I choose to express, love, and be loved by everything in this world and beyond.
I really disagree with your statement “old school Islam will make you feel as though everything is contractual,” when there is no old school or new school Islam. Islam is Islam and it doesn’t waver or change. It’s the same, but how we understand the message is what is key. Perhaps you had a contractual understanding through your mindset, aqeedah or the teachers that were presenting you with information. Islam is balanced and yes, there’s the written law, and there’s mercy and grace.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “When Allah created the Creation, He wrote in His Book–and He wrote (that) about Himself, and it is placed with Him on the Throne–‘Verily My Mercy overcomes My Anger.’”
(Sahih Al-Bukhari)
right on, Imam Adam! We sometimes think the Quran is mainly giving us rules and laws but it’s much more inspiring the heart.
This is a very important message everyone must know. JazakAllah khair. May Allah Grant you more hikmah.
About this reflection, a good marriage is based on : love your mate for Allah
Because it allows you to act with:
– honesty
– humble
– respect
– and sweetness
Tranquility , affection and mercy are the result of these acts
Baraka Allahu fik!!!
Yup, I am that “young person” who wondered what are the rights and responsibilities. As a wife, am I supposed to cook and clean? Take care of the kids? Am I supposed to work to help to meet the income? How am I going to do all that when I get married? What does it really mean to stay devoutly obedient to my husband?
So I am glad that you highlight that. I am always impressed that our Lord always places something that is subtle and sensible. There is no doubt there are rights and responsibilities. But as humans, we falter from time to time. So it’s just more practical to be reminded of tranquility, affection and mercy to build a good marriage.